Monday, November 14, 2011

Trying not to stress... trying.

My husband is looking for a new job. He's been helping run an IT consulting company for the last 7-ish years, but for a variety of reasons, they are essentially closing their doors. Long story. In any case, he will no longer have a job as of January 1st.

We've known this was coming for a while now, so it's not a shock in the least. And when he first started looking for a job, he got so many emails and calls, we figured it wouldn't be hard to find a new job. There are some things that make finding the right job a challenge - commute time, benefits, finding the right "fit". But it seemed as if it would be a matter of looking through the potential opportunities to find the best one.

However, none of these emails or calls have turned into actual job offers. He's had a couple of interviews, but nothing has materialized. One of the more promising opportunities was put on hold. Another seemed like a sure thing, but he has yet to hear anything back from them. Another recruiter told him he'd be getting an interview, but so far, no call.

I am trying very hard not to stress. With the holidays right around the corner and possible unemployment on the horizon, I'm beginning to lose that battle.

I wish I could say that we have been really good with our money and can survive for a few months without an income. Sadly, we can't. We just can't. If he doesn't have a job in January, we are in big, big trouble.

This has been a serious test of faith for us. We are both trying really hard to put our faith in God, that He will lead us in the right direction if we have faith in Him and do our part. But as the weeks tick by, I'm getting nervous. I can't help it. I want to embrace the words of Jesus and not worry about tomorrow. But we have never been in this position before - not with kids, anyway. He was unemployed once before, about a year before we had our oldest son. It was very short lived, he had a severance package and unemployment, and we weathered the change without difficulty. He did wind up in a job he hated, but he found his current job less than a year later, so it was little more than a pebble in our path at the time.

I struggle because I know that we could lose a lot in this world, in terms of material things, and that's not necessarily what God has promised to provide. He promises that He will provide for our salvation - but He doesn't necessarily promise He'll make sure we can pay our mortgage. A few months out of work would be devastating to us, and although I know that my husband and I would get through it together - who wants to face financial ruin?

This experience has been an emotional roller coaster. We've run the gamut from feeling elated at all the possibilities, to fear and worry as time passes and our future is as yet unsecure.

Today I pray to God that He helps lead us a we move into this time of transition in our lives. I pray that we are open to the possibilities for where He wishes us to go and that He'll provide us the faith, courage and wisdom we need to face whatever lies ahead.

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