My Crossfit-iversary

Today is my one year Crossfit-iversary. A year ago, I got my butt up at the crack of dawn (well, almost), and despite the butterflies in my stomach, walked into a crossfit gym. And by butterflies, I mean something a little more akin to a flock of raging birds in a windstorm. I was nervous and intimidated, but I did my best to put that aside and take the plunge.

I'm not terribly athletic, but I have worked out (on and off to some degree) since I was a teenager. Dating a weightlifting football player does that to you. My comfy place in high school was less the gym or the field and more the library and the leadership room. I was active in school, but definitely more on the academic side of things (except for a stint as a cheerleader, which I now find hilarious). In any case, I've always valued fitness and belonged to a gym, and even sometimes used it. I did a few triathlons a while back, and that made me feel like a badass. But still - I've always viewed myself as a nonathletic, slightly uncoordinated, nerdy bookish type. So Crossfit, as much as I loved the concept, was quite frankly, freaking terrifying.

I walked in the door of that gym and have never looked back. Am I a super fit, lean and muscular chick now? No, not really. I think when I started, I did have this idea that I was going to work my butt off and in six months I'd be lean and fitting into my smallest jeans again. That hasn't happened (and I know exactly why - more on that in a sec), but what has happened is that I have gained a ton of muscle, and I'm strong as heck - for me, at least. I mean, I can deadlift 215lbs! Dude! I feel awesome about the strength and fitness I have gained.

What I love about Crossfit is that I don't have to think about it. I walk in, the WOD (workout of the day) is on the board, and I just do it. It will probably suck and be really hard and I'd never in a million years put myself through it without someone else telling me to do it - but I do. And the support and community at a good Crossfit gym is priceless. I've met some great people and everyone, from the out of shape newbies to the freakish uber athletes, are amazingly supportive and encouraging. I LOVE that. My gym is one of the biggest things I'm going to miss when we move later this year.

At this point, I'm really focusing on my diet. I am a case study in the importance of nutrition when it comes to body composition, weight loss, etc. I've been doing Crossfit for a year, and I haven't really lost any fat. I've gained about 10lbs, which I know is muscle and I'm fine with that. I won't ever be 120lbs, but I don't want to be. I'd rather be able to squat and deadlift and do pullups. But I still need to lean down, and that has not magically happened as I'd secretly hoped. I have to eat better, and I have to do it consistently.

I started cleaning up my diet and keeping a food log almost 2 weeks ago, and I'm hoping this will get me where I want to be. I don't want to be skinny, I don't need six-pack abs. I just want to feel comfortable in my skin again. I want my hard work to show. I weathered the storm of Easter candy and various other temptations the last couple of weeks and have done well, and although the scale is stubbornly not moving (I need to take my own advice about not worrying about the scale), I feel better and my husband says he can see a difference.

All in all, Crossfit has been amazing and I hope I'll be able to keep it up. It isn't exactly cheap, but for me, it is worth every penny. If I can be consistent with my diet for the next several months, I should start to lean down a bit and maybe those jeans I've been saving will finally fit again (just in time to find out they've gone out of style, most likely).

The Slow Burn: steady as she goes to a slimmer me

I'm joining Calah of Barefoot and Pregnant on a journey toward better health, and hopefully a better waistline. She's doing a series of posts on establishing better habits and making better choices and she's calling it "The Slow Burn."

This hits something that has been on my heart and mind recently as well. Did I say recently? I meant always. Sigh.

I was a skinny teenager who thought I needed to lose weight. I became a not-so-skinny 20-something who wanted to lose weight, and did briefly before I got pregnant for the first time. I lost weight again between my first and second pregnancies, but since then I've been on an up and down cycle of losing a little, but having a couple more babies and never really getting to where I want to be.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "You can't out-train a bad diet"? That's me. I do crossfit anywhere from three to five days a week, which means I have my ass handed to me in the gym on a regular basis. I'm in pretty good shape. I started crossfit almost 7 months ago, and although I've gotten a lot stronger and fitter (which is awesome), I still have this pile of jeans gathering a lot of dust that I can't wear. And it is killing me to work out so hard and not see the results I want.

I just want to fit into my jeans.

Clearly I need to do something different. I need to quit making excuses and exceptions and buckle down to drop some fat. I don't want to be super skinny, I just want to lean down. I don't have a huge amount of weight to lose either, but over the last couple of years I've been spinning my wheels and not losing it, so it is time to make a change.

I read somewhere that "you achieve what you measure," or something to that affect. In that spirit, I think it's important to set some measurable goals for myself. Sooooo... my goals for November are:

• Go to the gym at least four days a week
  (except next week because they will be closed a couple of days)
• Avoid sugar (already half way there, so this isn't a huge sacrifice for me - I just need to quit making so many exceptions. Planned splurges will be Thanksgiving (I'm making pie!) and the Saturday after when we do Thanksgiving Take Two (again with the pie).
• Said splurges will be mindful - enjoying what I love and not stuffing myself beyond belief simply for the sake of stuffing my face
• Keep a food log of everything I eat. I'm not planning to count calories, that feels to daunting right now (even though I've done it in the past). Writing things down will be my first step, and I'll reevaluate in the next month or so.

Thanks Calah for sharing your journey with us and hopefully your bloggy friends can be a help and a support as we all strive to treat ourselves better!