Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I already messed up

I broke my Lenten fast... already.


I really want to write about how justified I am in doing so. I want to say that it isn't my fault, what else could I have done! We were at my son's Cub Scout Pinewood Derby race and beforehand there was a pizza potluck. I figured I'd have water, but there wasn't any and my choices of beverage were limited to Hawaiian punch, Sprite, root beer and my husband's diet coke. Rather than drink a glass of sugar, I took a few swigs from the diet coke.

See, how bad is that, really? I mean, what's a girl to do?

I guess in reality it isn't the worst sin I could have commited. I should have planned ahead, like my friend who is in the same boat as me, giving up diet coke, and brought a big bottle of iced tea. But I didn't, and I caved.

Fortunately for me, my 7-year-old didn't seem to notice, or I'm certain he would have called me out on it. I got an iced tea the other day and he thought it was a soda, and he started giving me a hard time about it. Little stinker - but he sure keeps me honest.

I may have failed today, but I guess the best I can do is pick myself back up again and recommit to this very, very simple, very, very tiny sacrifice. I mean, good grief, I live in a lovely home with a wonderful husband who has a steady job and provides a comfortable living for our family. I don't have the tiniest fraction of the worries and concerns of so many mothers around the world, so my longing for caffeinated fizziness should not be that big of a deal. I don't have to sacrifice anything real. My children are healthy and life is really, really good.

Heavenly Father, please forgive my utter weakness. Only with your grace can I hope to come anywhere close to what you want of me. As I stumble along, feeling half blind, please look kindly on me and my feeble efforts. I offer this tiny bit of suffering (as minuscule as it is) to you and pray that you will help me grow in faith, love and charity. Amen.

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