We are about to embark on a new homeschooling year. No, it isn't quite fall, but last spring I mapped out a rough calendar for our school year and decided to experiment a little with a slightly different schedule. Starting early will give us ample time to spread out, be flexible, and take time off. I've enjoyed having the last 8 weeks off, but I'm excited about the prospect of a new year and ready to put all the plans I've been making into action.
It occurred to me, on this eve of a new school year, that although I am rather prepared in an organizational sense - I have the books, new pencils and paper and supplies - I am sorely lacking in the more important preparation that needs to be done. There are things I'm concerned about, things that are weighing on my heart. Will I be able to handle more formal schooling for my younger son in addition to my oldest? Will our days flow the way I'd like them to, or will it be a battle to keep everyone focused? Are my expectations reasonable? Am I going to regret this?
I haven't really prayed about any of it. I've been happily researching, ordering, and pouring over curriculum and books, buying notebooks and paper and sharpening pencils. I have good ideas and good plans in the works and I think we do have a lot to look forward to. But those nagging doubts that won't seem to go away are eating away at me, making me question whether I'm doing the right thing by having them home.
I haven't prayed.
My prayer life has been less than stellar lately anyway and I don't feel good about that. So tonight, on the eve of a new school year, I am taking some time to connect with God and open my heart to Him so we can really start things off right. No amount of planning and organizing on my part is going to substitute for that. There aren't any checklists or inspirational blog posts that will help put my spirit in the right place with God. I simply need to pray.