My mom is in the hospital recovering from brain surgery. She had the procedure on Tuesday (and today is Thursday) and already they're talking about sending her home - possibly tomorrow, possibly Friday. She's amazing.
On Tuesday I spent the day at the hospital, along with my stepdad, brother, sister, her boyfriend and one of my uncles. Before they took her back for surgery, we were able to spend time with my mom and you know what was amazing - she was so calm. Earlier that morning they asked her to rate her anxiety level from one to five. She said she was about a three. My stepdad chimed in and said he was a six, so could they give him something for that? She was about to face brain surgery and she was calm, and smiling.
They wheeled her away from us, and she was still smiling. She probably fell asleep with a smile on her face. And you know what, when we came to see her afterwards, in the ICU, she was still smiling.
We spent the day in the waiting room, playing games on our phones and ipads, reading books and magazines, eating in the hospital cafeteria and waiting. A lot of waiting. It is a strange thing to sit and ponder the fact that your mother's skull is currently cut open and there is a man probing around at her brain.
But through it all, I wasn't riddled with anxiety. I was calm, and I didn't expect to be. Perhaps it is because she's my mom, and she hasn't lost that "she can do anything" luster yet. Perhaps it is because I was surrounded by family and we held each other up. Perhaps it is because I kept myself distracted and never allowed my mind to drift into the "what ifs..." I think my state of calm is partially due to those things. But honestly I felt something else at work that day, and I think she did too. The power of prayer.
I posted about her surgery on Facebook, both a few days before to let people know what was going on, and on Tuesday morning. I am still so touched by the outpouring of support I saw there. Many of the people I'm friends with on Facebook have never met my mom, and probably won't ever meet her. I have a lot of "online" friends - people I have met on message boards who live all over the country, even the world. They don't know my mom. But they prayed for her. I feel like I rallied the troops and got something in motion and the peace and love of God washed over us like a cool breeze. The prayers of my friends and family surrounded us with hope, with calm and with peace. The love of God was palpable for me that day, and I think she felt it too. And I truly believe that the prayers of so many people made the difference, made the day bearable.
She's recovering well now and I continue to pray for her health and strength, and for her peace. It has to be difficult to walk into the hospital completely healthy and strong, and face leaving it barely able to walk. But God is lending her His strength and I can feel it. And I'm so grateful to everyone who has been praying for her - more grateful than I can properly express.